Night of Emotions

If I'm being completely honest, in one night I found myself angry at God and in the next breath making my peace with Him. The main issue I've always dealt with was not wanting Savannah to suffer, but she suffered last night. I found myself angry that it looked like God was ready to take my precious girl home, but trying to make peace with it because I couldn't stand to see her suffer anymore. As the morning rolled around her usual docs came in and began to dig deep and find the answers. X rays of her NJ tube placement showed significant air on her belly and the misplacement of it as well. This led them to place a tube down her throat that suctions as well. It is suctioning the air and old blood where the NJ tube irritated her stomach. So, in a nutshell all the air and the fact that the NJ tube was too big for her intestines (which docs said they've never seen this issue before) was causing her to suffocate. I'm thankful for that doctor that called today and poured his heart out to Jon apologizing for not catching the problem sooner. And I thank God for the continued angels unaware...a night nurse came and spoke to us last night about her struggles with her daughter who is handicapped post several brain surgeries. Take life one day at a time or even one second at a time if we have to she said. God bless her and I thank her for her brutal honesty. I thank God for Savannah's day shift nurse from today. She would not leave her side and stayed over almost 2 hrs last night because she didn't want to leave Savannah in the shape she was in. Please continue to pray for little miss. Pray she has no more days of suffering and the docs will continue to dig deeper. As I write this now, Savannah is resting well as she has been since about 9 this morning. She had a few minor episodes, but recovered quickly, but those may have been due to her irritation of having to get a picc line to keep her properly hydrated since she can't have her formula right now.